Stories

A daughter’s anxiety, a family’s worry

In 2015, Pastor Alby’s elder daughter, Esperance, had a seizure. Not knowing anything about epileptic fits, Pastor Alby and his wife, Vivienne, cleaned and changed her, and put her to bed.

In a matter of weeks, it happened again.

This time, Pastor took her to KK Hospital. After observation and diagnosis, the medical staff concluded that Esperance had had an epileptic seizure; and told Pastor that it was good he got Esperance to hospital as quickly as he did, to prevent the risk of brain damage. A cold shiver slid down Pastor’s back as he realized that God’s stop-watch had been set to save Esperance from very serious injury.

Esperance, whose name means Hope, was an active teenager who loved sports. But she was strongly discouraged from sporting activities as they could be dangerous for epilepsy patients. Aside from those limitations, Esperance was like any other Singaporean child – busy balancing schoolwork, family life and the odd tuition class. And she balanced them very well.

While she was the hope that would inspire most parents, Esperance was also an unexpected catalyst of God’s training for her parents. Never did Pastor and Vivienne think that they would have to learn about unpronounceable medications, attend unique parent-teacher meetings or adopt different parenting techniques.

The daily schedule is a case in point. Because Esperance’s fits always seemed to occur in the early hours of the night, her days had to end by evening so that she could return to the safety of home. No late nights for the young lady.

There was also the need to learn new things. Pastor and Vivienne had to adapt mentally and emotionally as they learned about triggers, treatment and medications. One upsetting discovery was that for most epileptic patients, medication has to be taken for life.

One particularly heart-wrenching incident they had to handle was when the school told the Pastor and Vivienne that they were not allowing Esperance to attend the much-anticipated Primary 4 camp. Unfortunately, the conversation was on speaker phone and Esperance heard every word of it. She burst into tears and wailed in frustration. The pain in her parents’ hearts was indescribable.

Again, we ask, was this another “thing” that works together for good?

Racked with Pain 

Dinnertime, Church Family Camp.

Trying to find a pain-free part of her body to rest her weight on, Vivienne is wheeled into the dining room on a wheel-chair. Resolving to exercise courage despite the pain, she stands up to join the buffet queue.

She catches a whisper she’s not supposed to hear, “Aiyah, can stand up, means not so painful lah.”

As if the pain in her body wasn’t piercing enough, now someone had to stab her heart too.

Vivienne has suffered from Plantar Fasciitis since her late teens. Starting as an ache on the sole of her foot, it radiates outwards, causing inflammation in the back of the heel and then the entire foot.

Walking, and indeed standing and moving, became a huge difficulty. But she tried not to reveal she was in pain and fought hard against it. On some days, she simply gritted her teeth and went about a “normal woman’s life”. It was tough but it also felt good to just move.

Over the years, Vivienne found that the muscles that compensated for those that weren’t used properly, started to revolt too. Her calves swelled awfully. Her thighs groaned with every shift of bodyweight. Her lower back protested violently. Even her upper back felt like the target of a thousand arrows.

But she was thankful that she could walk down the aisle on her wedding day rather than use a wheelchair. Though on their honeymoon, Pastor Alby was the driver, pushing his beloved on a wheelchair to enjoy the sights and sounds around them.

So, yet again we ask, which parts of Pastor’s life are working together for good?

The Example of Faith

Pastor Alby has a remarkably pure faith. It is crystal clear, totally audible above the noise of frenetic busyness and completely free of doubt.

When the Lord asked him to trust, Pastor Alby said “I will.” No conditions.

When the Lord tested his belief in the Biblical teaching of “all things work together for good”, he passed with flying colours.

So, when you ask him if he ever looked back at all his sufferings and asked “Why God?”, he’ll look you in the eye and tell you “No, I did not”.

He does accept that there will be questions Christians (including him) ask, to which God doesn’t share answers. But he reminds us that life is on a continuum of eternity. Our frustrations, disappointments and suffering are just a dot on that line, and we can be sure that God is watching over it.

Indeed, it’s not a matter of “Why did it happen” or “If only it did not happen”. It’s about believing God and enjoying Him forever.

Other Stories

Be encouraged by stories from around the Bible Presbyterian Churches in Singapore.